The FishFAQ

Frequently Asked Questions about PsychicGoldfish.Com

I debated not answering this one. Chances are, if you're here, it's probably because you already know me, and I bludgeoned you (to some degree) into taking a look. Either that, or you found this page during some random websurfing, and don't know me from Adam. In either case, you probably don't need to know much more about me to figure out this website.

But, since you asked, I'll you a little about myself. My name is Nathan Walton. I was born in a petri dish in Laboratory, Pennsylvania. My parents thought I was a dog, and sent me to obedience school. (Fifty bonus points if you get the reference... Minus several hundred if you admit it). My hobbies are horticulture and visualizing world peace, and I want to be a veteran because I really like animals. Are we ready for the swimsuit competition yet?

All right, all right.

Actually, I was born (in a hospital) and raised (as a human) in Houston, Texas: the backed-up septic tank of the United States. I've lived here all my life. After five years at local Rice University, I now have a Bachelor's of Science in Mechanical Engineering. Currently, I'm working as a consulting engineer at Wylie & Associates, an MEP (Mechanical, Electrical, and Plumbing design, for you civilians) firm in Houston. I do the mechanical part of that acronym- which is mostly designing the air conditioning systems for commercial buildings. Doesn't sound horribly exciting, but it's interesting work. Really. Really! It is!

Other than that, well, take a look around. Most of my hobbies and interests are documented here to some extent. I'm a wildly exciting guy.

As someone once said, "Homepages are the Rubik's Cubes of the Nineties. Everyone has one, but not everyone knows what to do with them." And I'd have to say that covers me. When I started this page, many moons ago, I didn't have a clue what to do with it. Back then, it was just a random collection of documents I ran across while websurfing (using UNIX Mosaic or text only browsers like LYNX at 1200 baud) or BBSing. (Many of these now reside in the PG Archive.) I also sprinkled in a few links, and a couple of fancy copyrighted (not by me) images. It started out as a cheap vanity thing. Back in the mid-nineties, a homepage was something of a status symbol. You young whippersnappers with your Interweb and your McDonald's Happymeal AOL accounts probably don't remember when the 'Net was young, and only the cognoscenti (and other folks with free university accounts) had Internet access. A real, honest-to-goodness plot on the Electronic Frontier was a big deal back then.

Soon after I left school and entered the Real World (tm), the Web grew out of it's infancy. No longer did the mere mention of a personal web address earn instant respect from your peers, and looks of awe and adoration from beautiful women. (At least I think that was awe and adoration. It's so hard to tell sometimes.) No longer did bright green pages with yellow text and pictures of your pet cat Fluffy win major design awards. People started to expect unreasonable things like content from webpages. I knew I was in trouble. I had to come up with something to say. Still working on that. But, 'Net real estate is cheap. So, now I keep it going out of pure cussedness, and perhaps a bit of nostalgia. Maybe, someday, I'll stick something useful and informative up here. Everyone hold your breath!

Originally, MS-DOS Edit! And later, Notepad. And I use WS_FTP to upload it. I programmed this masterpiece entirely by hand. (I used to program it by dialing up my ISP and whistling into the modem, but my lips kept cramping up when I tried to upload the images.) I've never had much patience with HTML editing software.

I also use Corel Photo Paint for image manipulation, and GIF Construction Set for making the animated stuff. And, of course, Internet Explorer to surf the web and kipe bits from here and there. I ain't proud.

Basically, when I changed ISPs, too many people complained that they couldn't remember my new URL and e-mail address. So, I took action! You'll never forget this address, will you?

There really isn't any more to it than that. I'm sure it's a meme that I pulled from somewhere, but I've never been able to find it. It was the product of a late night WHOIS search, in a vain attempt to find a suitable domain name that wasn't already taken. At 3:30am, it seemed like a good idea. And now, well, it's kind of grown on me.

At one time, I also registered NDWalton.com as an alternate, for that very reason. But I eventually realized that I never actually gave out that address, so I allowed it to expire. You'll just have to deal with the funky domain name. (Ya' big baby!)

Well, pretty much whenever the spirit moves me. I have added a Recent Updates section to the main page, to make it easier to tell when I've gotten off my lazy posterior and actually done something. I have big, big plans. Watch this space!

Well, I don't have as many of these as I once had, believe it or not. The way I see it, this is kind of a window directly into my brain. It's the facet of my personality that I choose to show (or inflict upon) the world. Really, that's true of just about every personal homepage out there. (Which is why Pokemon fansites, listings of Hello Kitty memorabilia, and so on truly terrify and mystify me.) No personal page serves a practical purpose. (Oh, put away your resume links. Those don't count. If you're trying to get money, you're running a commercial page, and fall outside this diatribe.) Personal homepages are here to show the world a few glimpses at our intellect, our humor, and our wacky personalities. So, given that these kinds of pages are here solely to give the world a glimpse inside our minds, I ask you a question: Why doesn't your Web page have more blinking lights and fidgety little buttons? That must be a pretty dark, dull little brain you've got there!

Unless you don't have a webpage, in which case all I can say is that I like the little flashing and twittering bits. In a way, unnecessary flashing parts are my homage to the earliest days of computing, when nobody took your machine seriously unless it had at least a dozen lights blinking in hypnotic patterns. Long live Das Blinkenlights!

Or, it could just be that I have no taste whatsoever. I'll leave that determination as an exercise for the reader.

Well, he once claimed that his real name was Ramses Aleutius Bonaparte XVII, but I have reason to be suspicious. Around here, we just call him Bob. He doesn't seem to mind.

Any more questions for me or Bob?

Send us a message now! You can also try sending it telepathically, but since one of us here (and I'm not naming names) has about a three second memory, I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for a response.